Things I Learnt In First Year

After the stresses, strains, trials and tribulations that took place over the course of 2011, thankfully amounting in me being offered at a place at University, it seems ludicrous to be able to say to myself that the end of my first year is just two exams away. The start of my course seemed such a long way off at the time and although, granted, most of the time that I’ve “been at” University I’ve spent at home (thanks to the monstrously long breaks that I do not in any way criticise) I thought it might be quite nice to record some points; some of the things I have learnt during the course of my first year as a student (a couple of which I stole from the web but that are applicable and simultaneously more funny than what I can come up with). Here is a little, hopefully humorous, hopefully relatable, list of things I have learnt:

1.     It is possible to survive the entire day on a piece of toast or a mars bar. Or both. Or neither.

2.     Caffeine is a food group.

3.     Never, ever, ever, refuse free food.

4.     Yes, that is the guy upstairs weeing. Just turn your iPod up and try to ignore it.

5.     The Maintenance man’s door-knock is merely a formality. He will walk in no matter what state you’re in.

6.     If you wake up and your shower head has been changed, the Maintenance man has done it when you were asleep.

7.     Fear the Maintenance man.

8.     Upstairs will make the entire block smell like weed and there’s nothing you can do about it. Just go with it.

9.     People wear onesie’s without a trace of irony. Avoid these people.

10.    Apparently flip-flops are a socially acceptable type of footwear at all times of the year, as long as everything else you’re wearing has Hollister written on it.

11.    Hipsters are a race.

12.    Charity bookshops are dangerous places for book nerds like me.

13.    Reference everything. Reference your name. Reference the date. Reference your tutor’s name. Reference you references.

14.    If it’s a bad lecturer, it’s okay to skip the lecture.

15.    Pre-lecture reading is not compulsory and should be treated as such.

16.    Pre-seminar reading is compulsory and should be treated as such.

17.    Unexpected double-sided reading is about as fun as it sounds.

18.    No matter who tells you otherwise, when a tutor says “this isn’t something that can be done the night before,” it is most definitely a challenge.

19.    Remember that thing? Oh, what was it called? Hang on... Don’t tell me... Oh yeah! Money!

20.    You will take a flyer. There are no other options.