A Short Post on Being Ill

 Say goodbye to my family and friends for me, I’m dying. No really, I am. My complete inability to tolerate real pain or hardship for more than a few minutes is, granted, one of my many faults but this “cold” is very much the viral form of Lucifer himself. On day one I got just about half an hour’s worth of sleep and the following days, well, not much more than that. I have a headache, earache and am producing more mucus than I thought was humanly possible. Today I literally looked like special effects gunge was pouring out of my nose (form a queue ladies) and I thought I must have been giving birth to alien out of it. Either that or I’m secretly the next mutation in human evolution and I’m so advanced that it seems far too farfetched to be true. That one. I pick that one.

Whichever one is true this man flu feels like it’s set to stay forever and I see no logical explanation to determine why that my not very much be the case. In fact, inbetween the last paragraph and this, I had to stop to blow my nose take a sip of tea. You would think that with my new found time moping around the house in rather loose fitting trousers and hoodies drinking tea and trying to taste food that I would have no excuse for not completing Uni assignments. Well, you couldn’t be more wrong. Make no bones about it, I tried, I really did; yesterday I sat down to read Little Women for my American Literature module and got about one sentence in before the text on the page actually started to make me feel dizzy. Books, my literary friends, reducing me to a blabbering wreck of ridiculousness, taking away a form of dexterity I possess that I’m actually proud of. The computer screen hurts my eyes, I can hardly squeak out a whole sentence and I’m loathed to waste food by eating something I can’t even taste – my piece of toast this afternoon might as well have been a brillo pad. All in all my past couple of days have been pretty damn awful. Pause for another nose blow. 

There isn’t an awful lot more that I could venture to say on the matter. I’m ill, that’s all there is to it. Of course I appreciate that you might not care and quite frankly more fool you for clicking the link or reading thus far, I hope you get what I’ve got – this mutated super man cold flu thing – then you’ll care. Until then dear readers, friends and comrades, I’ll see you on the other side. If I make it.