Amy Childs and the Lost Phone of Perspective

We all knew that this day would come but you just can’t really prepare yourself for it when it does. It’s the kind of thing your parents and grandparents have strove to prepare you for since the day that you crawled helplessly into the world. Since you opened your delicate newborn eyelids. It pains me to even write this, but here goes: Amy Childs has lost her phone.

I kick myself everyday for even being aware of who this poisonous fleshwaste is. I hope everyday that some new piece of information that I learn will push my knowledge of her useless existence out of my noggin. On a daily basis I can fail to recall passwords, where I left my pen or where my keys are, but still remaining, untouchable, is my knowledge of who Amy Childs is; fake, deplorable, abhorrent, detestable, obnoxious, heinous, revolting, ghastly, grim and grisly, Amy Childs.

I can safely say that my hatred for this plastic sack of air has very much peaked this evening when she tweeted a total of thirty-one times in two hours, all in capitals, that someone had stolen her phone. A number of retweets from pathetic “fans” (of whatever it is she does that one can be a “fan” of) were also thrown into the mix; people who were expressing their “disgust,” “annoyance” and, get his, “utter devastation” at the events that had befallen the Warlock on the day in question.

Now for someone like Childs, who evidently has to fill her day tweeting in capital letters to make her feel like her life means something, this activity cannot go without sympathy from us, the normal folk; us who go about our day with purpose, with a vigour for life; to our jobs, schools and universities, to learn, to help others, to rebuilt our stricken economy and to make the world a better place. Sympathy we must give, except for today.

Today is only one day after Mark Bridger has been arrested for the murder of five year old April Jones, who still remains missing. We can all sympathise with losing an item dear to us but I’ll bet not many can understand just how stricken it must feel to have lost a child. I certainly can’t and I hope to goodness that you cannot too.

Caution must be exercised and perspective must be engaged. We have all lost our keys, lost our phone and sure we’re annoyed, upset and damn right frustrated. A simple tweet or a Facebook post to vent ones anger is perfectly natural and normal in this age of technology, but thirty-one capitalised tweets crying out in anguish across to the whole of the Twittersphere because you’ve lost a 4” set of electronics encased in plastic? Please.

The diehard Childs “fans” will feel that she has done no wrong and the sad fact is that even after all of this they will harbour no hatred whatsoever. She will not lose fans, she will not gain fans and her public image will remain intact and unharmed. It’s the sad fact that accompanies each modern day ‘celebrity,’ and it’s the cross that us normal folk have to bear as it’s something we will never be able to change.